i have to water my cat

imposter
run like you always do

the cats are on the loose
leaping through the grocery
ocean too

must be twenty-one or older
to eat at this popcorn stand
or at least give a damn
when the floor turns blue

***

This dream kinda sorta requires a basic level of knowledge of the anime My Hero Academia.

There’s this bad guy lurking with a decently powerful quirk. You know how Bob Barker could be like AND A NEW CAR and the camera spins around and look, a new car? This guy basically does the same thing as long as he’s streaming. That was how he controlled his power. And for context, the only character I recognized from MHA was Deku, no one else recognizable makes an appearance.

Okay. So I go to the grocery store with my classmates. Or maybe he was just nearby. So we’re up front and this shady character comes in in AND WE’RE BACK fashion with his phone held up in as far as his arm stretches, pointed at himself. He puts his free arm around a classmate and says “You’re the winner of free roasted, CBD-infused cashews!” He lets go of him and turns his hand over. Sure enough, there’s a tiny cup of cashews in his palm, but the lid is starting to pop off because the nuts are overflowing into his hand, landing on the floor and in my friend’s cupped hands. 

Me, just watching all this happen and with the strangest feeling that this isn’t right, I run to grab my other classmates. Ya know, Deku mainly. But before I do that, tv guy literally gives me two handfuls of the cashews and I eat them all. (Sidebar, I have a jar full of roasted cashews so this read checks out)

I tell Deku what’s happening, a few aisles away. Paraphrasing: this dude is doing some predatory shit and his quirk seems overpowered. 

We go back to the front, they’re still there only now he’s made a popcorn machine but filled with alcohol with like a grab crane with a cup attached (if that makes sense). Needless to say first friend is drunk.

So totally inconspicuously, Deku does like a Vulcan nerve pinch and bad guy slumps to the floor. Immediately, I grab his phone and throw it into the popcorn machine and somehow it lands in the cup of all places. We’re all standing over him questioning whether he’s actually passed out, meanwhile a classmate who can shrink down has climbed into the machine to throw the phone in after I’ve told her I think it may be dangerous. 

At this point, it’s clear that the dude is still conscious but the phone is slow-mo falling into the alcohol. As soon as it lands he starts freaking out like GIVE ME BACK MY ONE HOUR OF FREEDOM. His body starts glitching and throws Deku and some others back and shoots off under the aisles to the other side of the store with some water jetting out of his hands.

At this point, I’m starting to realize that I don’t know what my power is and I’m just standing there watching this happen. I’m yelling at the employees to get everyone out but now he’s jetting in all different directions including in front of the door. 

Now I suddenly have my cat and I’m terrified for him. I, smart boy that I am, walk out the side door and magically appear in my apartment and the window is open. So I take my cat and plop him down so I can put on his harness and explain what’s going on to my boyfriend. Garth, my cat, runs out the window and I’m freaking out, he’s an inside only cat. My boyfriend gives me some treats as I jump out after him. I snag him as he’s eating treats and run back in through the window and right out the door, back into the grocery store. 

By now, things are quiet. There’s some shouting in the distance but no sign of anyone. Cat jumps out of my arms and runs into the furniture department. In total freakout mode, I spin around wondering what I can possibly do to get him. That’s when my boyfriend’s cat Memine shows up. Memine is an inside/outside cat and we never worry about him BUT they don’t like each other. Memine runs after Garth, growls and hisses, then they get into a little fight, one that Memine ultimately runs away from. Garth is still pissed so I’m like “quit it!” And he says “you quit it!” 

I carry him back to the apartment and drop him off. I run back into the store to help fight the tv guy but the police are already escorting him out.

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