So on Christmas (btw I hope you all had a great holiday), I came across a picture that made me feel way better about how this year has turned out as far as progress in my writing is concerned anyway. It was a tweet that simply said:
And I can’t really explain why, but it sort of made all these months of internal struggle fade away. I guess just knowing that I’m not alone in my emotionally exhausting journey to create something meaningful was enough to help. It made me feel like if they can all power through whatever’s going on then I should be able to as well. Or not even that I should but rather than I can. So I guess I just wanted to share this if there’s anyone else out there in a position slightly resembling my own in hopes that it might help any of you too. I don’t know when I’ll be back in the right headspace but I know I will eventually, and that’s enough for now.
Which brings me to a New Year’s resolution. I don’t think I’ve honestly ever made one with realistic goals. Admittedly, since my novel is based in modern times and whatnot, I’ve used the idea that ‘I need more to happen in the real world’ as an excuse for my laziness/inability to write. But I think the real problem was that not enough was happening in my own life, and what little there was, mistakes and all, was of my own making. I don’t want to tunnel vision to the finish line. I don’t want to rush the novel. But I know what I want it to look like. I think I can confidently say it should be finished well before this time next year, but that’s not the resolution.
I want to be able to live a life in which I don’t dwell on my mistakes and certainly don’t wish I hadn’t made them. All my mistakes have made me stronger. Well, I guess I mean that I’ve learned a lot, about myself and just in general, from my missteps. I wouldn’t trade all that knowledge and wisdom for anything. Not even the bliss that would probably result from not having made them. I want to know, and to always know, that no matter how dim things look, that spark will always be there. I know I’m having a hard time finding it right now, but I am hopeful. I guess you could say that hope is a spark in and of itself and I’m fanning the flame. But that’s a really cliche metaphor for creativity. So I’ll just say that I know 2018 will be a better year for me and I hope it is for all of my readers too, whether or not 2017 was rough for you.